We are not prepared for motherhood, let alone to be mothers of kids with special needs. There is no handbook, nothing passed down through the generations, no one telling you what to do- or if you have done enough. We optimistically look at strollers and cribs and stroke our bellies, eating ice cream and thinking about the perfect newborn baby that will come out. Not once do we ever have a vision of a child less than perfect. A child that we love so much that it breaks our heart and when we don’t think we can help them, we actually feel physical pain and want to die.
Hopefully, as mothers (warriors), we do what we can for our children and pray that we are on the right track. 10 different doctors will give you 10 different diagnoses. You will try gluten free, casein free, sugar free diets. You will start giving all kinds of vitamin supplements because the only reason your child is rocking in the corner is because he is deficient in vitamin d, right? You will try and try and maybe something will work. Or not. But you will see progress through hard work and early intervention. I promise you.
My son was officially diagnosed at 2 years old. At 3 months, we thought he was deaf because he wasn’t responding to sounds. We had him evaluated over and over again but didn’t have any real answers. He was getting all kinds of therapy as early as 4 months old. By 15 months, our pediatrician told me we needed to get him evaluated for Autism. It was like I was in a bubble. I heard him but I stopped hearing what he was saying.
This diagnosis enabled us to receive extensive services through early intervention and I will tell you these therapists became our family. Angels put on this earth who never gave up on our son. Cried with me, gave me a break when I needed it and celebrated with me when he learned something new. I will forever be indebted to them.
Through the years, we have encountered many angels. The progress he has made is truly unbelievable. I have learned a few things along the way as well.
Perfect children are not typical children. Perfect children are our children with all of their differences, learning disabilities, autism spectrum disorders and psychiatric disorders. They are perfect because they are ours.