My first pregnancy resulted in a loss of a baby boy. I was 5 months pregnant and had difficulties the entire pregnancy ranging from bleeding to contractions. Finally, they put me on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was scared and rightfully so. On May 29th at around 2am, the contractions became so painful that we called the doctor and were told to get to the hospital. As soon as we made it to the car, my water broke. There wasn’t a chance to save him. Needless to say, I was devastated and depressed beyond help. No one knew what to say. Some told me to “put it out of your mind” and some planted trees in Israel. Nothing could bring him back.
It took me many months, a lot of medical testing, and intense therapy sessions before I tried to get pregnant again. I stayed on bedrest the entire pregnancy and was able to carry a little girl to term. About 6 months after she was born, we decided to try and get pregnant again. It had taken us years at this point to have our daughter and we weren’t sure how long or if I could even carry another baby to term. Miraculously, I got pregnant immediately. My due date was the exact same date as my first pregnancy and we found out it was a boy. I felt like these were signs. I felt like he wasn’t ready to come the first time, but he was coming back to us. 9 months later, I went into labor and delivered our beautiful boy at 5:29 PM. We lost the first baby on 5/29. I don’t always believe in God (life is so challenging, right?) but this was definitely a miracle. Too many similarities, too many coincidences. I felt like my heart was finally healed.
When my son was 3 months old, we realized there was something wrong. He was delayed and as the months progressed, more noticeably so. He wound up being diagnosed on the spectrum, with apraxia, and gross motor dyspraxia. As he grew older, ADHD and OCD were added to the mix. As challenging as it was (and is), I wouldn’t change one thing. He wasn’t ready to come the first time and maybe not 100% ready the second time, but he somehow made his way back to us.
I took my little miracle home on my birthday. It was the best birthday present I have yet to receive. He is truly an angel from above.