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Eye of the Tiger

2/11/2015

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Life can change in the blink of an eye.  One minute, you are singing songs and dancing around your house with your 5 kids, making dinner, pouring a glass of wine to have a relaxing evening with your husband and life as you know it is normal.  And you have no idea how much longer it is going to be normal but we don’t think like that.  We continue our dance and enjoy the fun night with the kids.  And all is good.  We will look back on that night as the night before hell broke loose.  The night before our whole world changed.


Last week, our daughter was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder.  We knew something was off but chalked it up to immaturity.  Sure, she struggled in school but we thought she would pull it together.  After the 100th call from her teacher telling us that she was having increasing difficulties, we decided to get her tested.  And all I can remember in the past week is dancing around my kitchen with my 5 screaming kids and feeling happy.  The rest is a blur.


What I do know is this:


If your child is really struggling, pay attention.  

If your child is taking hours and hours to do homework, speak up.  It may not be the teacher’s fault (I used to curse the teacher out every night- for this, I am sorry).

If you ask for a child study team evaluation, don’t take no for an answer.  We asked a year ago and are now a year behind because they said no and we didn’t fight it.

If your child is increasingly having negative thoughts (I am stupid, I can’t do anything right), listen to them.  Do not ignore it and get them help. (especially this one)


It is our job as parents to advocate for our children and the system will not allow us to do that without a fight.  It is ridiculous to think that we have to fight to get the help our children need, but we do.  It is the most important job we have.  Sometimes, we don’t know what we are fighting for.  Especially if it is our first time working with a child study team.  They really know how to spin it so you think you are getting everything your child needs but I can assure you, you probably aren’t.  This is where you need to speak up and ask questions.  Ask your friends, your neighbors, an advocate- anyone who may be able to help you help your child.


So, put on “Eye of the Tiger”, get the Rocky gloves out and be prepared for the fight.   I guarantee your child will thank you for it someday.
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    I am a married mom of 5 children aged 15, 13, 9, 8 and 5. Our 8 year old son was diagnosed on the spectrum at 2 years old and life hasn’t been the same since.  Marriage is hard without children, especially children with special needs.  We try and find the humor in the hard times and give each other space when we need it.  There are many times we want to throw in the towel (marriage is hard, right?)  but we always find out way back.  Together, I believe, we can make it through anything.  My husband is my rock and my sanity.  He is the most patient man I have ever met.  We divide our time between behaviorists, visiting private schools, trying to work full time jobs and every once in a while a date night where we get to fall in love all over again.  


    Raising special needs kids in not only a challenge on the marriage but for the rest of the family as well.  We do our best to keep them grounded and explain why our son gets special treatment but it isn’t always easy.  When I first agreed to write this blog, I was hopeful that I would be able to help one family.  Now I am thinking that maybe we can just help each other.  It is nice to know we are not alone on our quest to find answers, solutions, and to help our special needs kids grow up to be the best they can be.  Please reach out to me anytime. [email protected]

    Twitter: @whinetimemom





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